And it was all yellow

survivorallie97 @ 2008-01-29T23:44:00

2008-01-29T23:48:14Z

I don’t get aggravated often. Miffed, perhaps. When someone cuts me off or when I get really pumped about something small and there is a letdown of some sort, I go into slightly displeased mode. I make a sassy and or snarky comment to myself and then I am all set. And yet, at this college, I find myself aggravated. Maybe it’s just me but I dislike hearing things such as “well, an American edited it so of course it lost many of its nuances and meaning.” Or, from a not drunk person, “you look like a malnourished Irish person from the 1800s.” first of all, I do not even know what that really means or why anyone would say that since that’s not even remotely funny or accurate (and potato famine humor = not exactly in right now) but I digress. I sit in classes intended to be on subjects other than Great Britain and listen to the mighty powers of the English empire. No, this is not 1510. This is now 2008, though it does not feel that way. Perhaps the key to the British empire was this tendency to keep secrets. I am actually mystified as to how anything is accomplished here as (a) no one seems to be able to answer questions, (b) professors literally almost always respond with ‘refer to the handbook,’ and (c) – now this is probably my favorite, things just get made up as we go along! I found out today, much to my excitement that I have four papers due on Monday that I thought I had at least 2 more weeks to work on. Now that made my day super exciting, on top of the fact that I already love Tuesdays—who doesn’t?!

Aside from all of that not bitter at all commentary, there are things that I very much enjoy about England. I went to Warwick castle this weekend, which was really quite awesome. I even went into a haunted tower known to have ghost sightings and managed to keep myself pretty composed. After that I went to Stratford-upon-Avon, which was beautiful. I was able to see Shakespeare’s house (the one he grew up in) and go down to his gravesite—sort of a beginning to end tour I suppose. I also actually enjoy living in Egham even though I have to walk to a train station to catch the train to London, which isn’t the fastest process. I really enjoy being away from the city and being able to walk to the center of the town to do my groceries. This is definitely a place that has advanced technologically but has put the rest of itself on pause for awhile. Even the grocery store has a monument to the past, and I can’t help but think there isn’t much of anything around here commemorating something past the year 1700, except maybe a war here and there. Yup, it’s official, this is actually the lamest thing that I have ever written.

Final thought: maybe the british are just a lot more appealing from a tv screen?

oh, mr. harris.

2008-01-23T00:44:37Z

“Despite a full century of scientific insights attesting to the antiquity of the earth, more than half of our neighbors believe that the entire cosmos was created six thousand years ago. This is, incidentally, about a thousand years after the Sumerians invented glue....The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.”

survivorallie97 @ 2008-01-20T21:07:00

2008-01-20T21:09:08Z

I just filled out my evaluation form for my homestay. I hope that they particularly enjoy the parts where I mention that the only culturally relevant thing that I did while I was at the house was watch British television and a late night screening of Hot Fuzz. Also, I enjoyed mentioning that one of the other homestay mothers revealed to some girls in my group that they actually do not do background checks or random investigations of any kind prior to sending international students to these homes. Nice!

I got to do some more exploring of this area (Egham and Staines, the next town over) which was nice last week. I also went into London yesterday and got to see the British Library, [where I saw the magna carta, scribblings from Sylvia Plath, and notes from Wordsworth…yeah I basically almost lost control of myself] more of Trafalgar Square, and the Tower of London for longer than last time.

Alright, to go back briefly down a bitter road here, here goes my rant on the (lack of) academics at Holloway. Have you ever picked up a book right in the middle? The answer is no, of course not, because that’s a horribly illogical idea. All of my courses here make me feel as though I’ve stepped into a half-read, half-digested book filled with lists of facts and figures that only further fuel the notion that history is nothing more than memorizing details. All of my course titles have some sort of brief description and then dates in them. I did not assume that my courses would be picking up right where the last section had left of, literally, to the day before the year that these spring courses are supposed to start from. I sit through my four lectures, take pages of notes on facts and details, and sit through my tutorials where we shockingly review those same details. I greatly dislike hearing things like “you Americans,” etc, but I’m getting used to it. Comes with the territory I guess.

On a much more pleasant note, I’m seeing avenue Q this week in London. Then this weekend I’m going to Stratford and Warwick, spending the weekend after that in York/Northern England, getting a week off after one more of classes, seeing a ballet in London/getting a backstage tour, going to Stonehenge, banging out Oxford and the Cotswolds the next day, spending the weekend after that in Wales, going to PARIS, spending one more week in England and then flying home for break. Phew/holler. And I do miss home, but only sometimes, when March can’t come soon enough. For the most part though, I’m pretty pumped about the next two months.

british updation

2008-01-10T01:14:50Z

Miss:
Americans. Yeah, yeah.
Television. I went from 4 hours a day to none.
Just using a regular phone and not worrying how much it costs.
Food and the good old dollar
Did I mention television? Right.
Water pressure
Not being a foreigner

Love:
Royal Holloway: dorms/chapel/Founder’s, the huge castle-like complex
Walking around campus/town/London
Revisiting the British Museum
British cars and taking the train
That I’ve accomplished 3 things off my life list already since I got here
Being a foreigner

Only kind of miss:
I don’t dream here. Which is sort of odd as I’ve been dreaming every single night and remembering it almost daily for as long as I can remember.

Random, but nice:
“I say, let me never be complete. I say, may I never be content. I say, deliver me from Swedish furniture. I say, deliver me from clever art. I say, deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth… I say, evolve, and let the chips fall where they may." stolen from a blog somewhere

cheerio yo

2008-01-06T19:40:41Z

So believe it or not, I made it to England. And believe it or not, I very seriously considered hopping right back onto a plane and going right back to America and doing something random and only potentially useful for the next 9 months until school would start up again at Trinity. I was honestly not entirely prepared for how different it would be here. Before you go to the next logical though, I am really loving it here now. However, that part doesn’t come quite yet.

To pause, I know what are you thinking, and really, who even writes in live journals anymore? Very few people, and even fewer actually go into depth. But I don’t want to leave England without a few concrete if not really tangible records of how it was. Moving on, or back, rather to the original topic. Jetting over on Virgin Atlantic I was next to a large businessman with a nasal problem and love of invading my personal space. This was all quite nice but then I could not seem to fall asleep. I did get to watch a few movies (they are getting really fancy now on airplanes and you select your own) which made the time pass a bit faster. The first few days I went sightseeing with my parents, had another strangely unexciting new year’s (I’m setting this down now: new year’s is the worst, most pointless holiday and I am from here on out going to ignore it since I never liked it anyway) and got to see the chapel of the Knights Templar. Alright, weirdo alert can pop out now: I have wanted to visit this for a very long time and although I couldn’t go in (time of day) I did get to go into the Westminster Abbey. This has been on the top of my life for awhile. It was even better than I could have imagined. My life was slightly more complete after that.

That Wednesday I had to go for an orientation session for my program in a London hotel. My roommate for the day and a half was strangely hostile and awkward. Maybe it was just a collective set of bad nerves that made it less than entirely pleasant. Or it may have been her long, detailed conversation that she had with herself while she was sleeping in the bed next to me. I don’t really need to resolve which it was. Leaving for Royal Holloway was all the more exciting though given that less than amazing experience.

The campus was even better than I could have imagined considering it‘s basically a complex of castle like buildings surrounded by brand new dorms. I can not complain on that end. It’s a bit more in the middle of nowhere than I had anticipated since the closest town is straight out of an English storybook (incredibly small, everything closes very early, seemingly the population is about 10 when you’re walking around) but I’m still only 30 mins from London. The best of both worlds, basically.

Yesterday I got to go back to Windsor (the town and the castle) and walked over to Eaton and Runnymede (magna carta birthplace booyah) which is beyond great for a history nerd like myself. As much as I try not to take myself too seriously, when people go to historical sites like Windsor castle and call it “just a collection of dead people’s stuff” a part of me slowly dies inside. St George’s, the chapel there, will always mean a lot to me. It’s where I decided I wanted to major in history, for sure, at Trinity and it’s when I decided that I could actually just go for it and try to be a historian. Even though I highly underestimated how different it would be here, I am having a great time. I always need to reach this strange plateau where I realize that home is no longer within reach. I always go through this reluctant period when I fight transition (even when going back and forth to Hartford) but then I accept it and am fine until about a week until I’m set to go home again. As for right now, at this moment. I am feeling pretty good with staying here until March 21^st. I think that I can do it and that it will be a solid experience. Well, that was a lot more than I had intended to ever write.

On a final note, Horrocks is a brand here. How is great is that? They make pillows. The end.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-12-28T00:14:00

2007-12-28T05:44:24Z

So. I survived finals, and other things. And here it is, December 28th, my last full day here for awhile. Christmas was alright, nothing terribly exciting or disappointing either way. I basically got everything that I needed and then some so I'm happy about all of that. The past two weeks have been pretty busy and also pretty difficult to remember mostly because it was a big haze of post-big-paper-writing indulging in montel, snacking, and spending too much on christmas presents. Not that I'm complaining. I didn't really work a ton, but again, not that I'm complaining about that either. Eh, per usual, just as I get settled and just past content in once place, I up and move to another. At least this is an upgrade in almost every sense and it is not Hartford. As happy as I am here right now, I won't be in the future if I don't do this. When else will I ever have to chance to do something similar? Also, it's in my top 5 of life goals, so i might as well bang it out now. :)

Anyway. Tomorrow I'm finally finishing up and packing away blue steel, black maverick, (come on, my laptop's name had to match my ipod; perfectly logical) some more clothes, and all of my actually important/decent photographs i've taken. Until later days...

survivorallie97 @ 2007-12-05T01:27:00

2007-12-05T06:30:08Z

A very good sunset--anyplace, anytime, should be appreciated much more than it is. Also, even though there wasn’t any real snow this week, a thin layer of ice covered everything on campus and it was pretty amazing. I tried taking some pictures but a lot of it melted before I got out of my long lecture class on Monday afternoon. Completely, utterly underappreciated. In other news, this is my last weekend at college before another nine months or so pass by. Thankfully there will be some visitation while I’m over in England but that’s still awhile. I can’t wait: 25 more days.

Pages between thanksgiving--winter break: 60

Pages I still have left before freedom: 30

Looking at it that way, it’s really not that bad. I do have 5 (!) days to finish writing those other thirty. My classes came pretty close to kicking my butt this semester. Two junior seminars and 3 history classes--what a grand idea. I’m glad I made it out of 5 history (ish) classes alive and with some pretty decent grades…and I tend to complain if I’m in anything but a lit or history class anyway, so I don’t really know who I’m kidding with this.

And that’s it.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-11-18T00:41:00

2007-11-18T05:41:17Z

I just realized that in about 40 days I am leaving for England. I know that's all I write about but...
Oh. geeze. Where did this semester go?! This week is thanksgiving. Then I have a weekish of classes left. Home. Final or two. Christmas. Fly out. Buh bye. Ah!

survivorallie97 @ 2007-11-09T01:31:00

2007-11-09T06:37:29Z

Is it really 2007?
I have to wonder sometimes when I turn on the news or when I flip through the internets.

I have this little theory that’s been percolating in my head for awhile…for a few years, actually, and I keep waiting for something to cause a drastic change in how I think. That hasn’t happened yet. How are we expected to really believe that a great deal of so called “progress” has been made when one reads something like this:

I’m talking about the so called “forum” or meeting called by Maria Shriver.

The women called to this meeting, wives of presidential hopefuls, are all too aware that they are not political candidates and that they are not in any sort of position to think or act politically. They are far from being women seeking to have excessive power over their husbands, and they are also far from what any person in America should see as a role model. They are, in fact, highly aware of what their role is, which is to act as a support base and as traveling companion during campaigns.

. ..I understand that they are not political opponents and perhaps their actions and their words are genuine, personal reflections of how they feel that they should act. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so harsh on women who just happen to be married to presidential candidates. And yet, I can’t help but wonder why women have to be token wives who are afraid to embarrass their husbands? What presupposes that they should act this way, and what are they afraid of conveying? Do women in 2007 really have nothing else to discuss other than changing tables and the stresses of potluck suppers? As much as America claims to be a democracy, clearly this nation is far from democratic at this point in time. And yet, I suppose this is a great fulfillment of “real” democracy---people who are interacting with the most powerful minds in the nation can think only of dinners and playdates.

By claiming that I don’t really believe in linear progress I am not, by any means, suggesting that I have no hope for the future or that I believe in a cyclical pattern of history/development I am just so frustrated by seeing women positioned as props--women who gave up careers to become caricatures as ready for a scene in Stepford Wives as they are for photo opportunity the Oval Office. Is this the best that we have to offer? I certainly hope not. Still, the "hopeful" mood selection was not an accident.

/I’m done. But not really.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/23/AR2007102302224.html?hpid=topnews or sees coverage of this event on television?

survivorallie97 @ 2007-10-16T00:37:00

2007-10-16T05:02:36Z

So, time for a real update I suppose.
Something other than England ranting/commenting.

I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier and wake up everyday around 8. I’m succeeding with the second half of that but still staying up until 2/3. So, I’m not really sure how productive that is. I usually only write in this relatively late at night when I’m not really sure how else to occupy my time. So here we go! How exciting.

I can’t believe it’s already mid-October. Something about this, my third year here, just feels incredibly repetitive. I look out on the sea of homogeneous faces and I’m always amazed at the consistency of it all. There is a lot to become excessively stressed about here, I recognize that. But I also recognize that being here allows me to say that “being a student” is literally my occupation since this campus is so isolating and I find that in all actuality, I am a student, a person living & learning on this campus--all of the time. This definitely has its perks which I appreciate but I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be if I had to face up to reality and work 40 hours a week while trying to get an education here. I think what just slightly miffs me is that in any other city I’d probably have a lot more opportunities [that don’t involve the risk of a shanking on the way to work…kidding, kind of] to function outside of this 100 acre campus.

Still, I will never say that I don’t enjoy being a student here, honestly. I find that for some reason, at least 3 of my classes every semester (with striking accuracy) all relate perfectly to one another. This time, all of my classes all fit together nicely in strange little ways. I can't imagine even the thought of not enjoying (for the most part) my classes. I've started looking into grad school (!) and I'm hoping that I can get at least a few things straightened out before I go away. I'd really like to go to Northeastern but I'd also really like to have more than say, 5 dollars when I am done getting degrees in what is mayyybe not the must lucrative business.

I am always just a tad paranoid that I come across as something of a complainer, but I can honestly say that at this moment in time I'm pretty happy. You know, not over the moon ebullient, but generally happy to be here in this particular moment. I have enough amusement good conversation in my life right now to keep me going even if my current food situation is lacking to the extreme. Although I'd seriously benefit from a lot more chocolate and a lot less salad, life is for the most part delightful, particularly because my hair no longer resembles a mullet in any way shape or form.

Also, I was thinking today and I came to a pretty serious conclusion. I think hot tubs and pools should be made more available to the public at large. Hot tubs are a good time, period, and not even in an Elimidate sort of way. Hot tubs, good times, well, this just has America written all over it. I’m rambling, but I feel as though that‘s a valid thought. Things are moving just a bit too quickly and I think a few more moment of euphorically hot water would do pretty much everyone good.

Later, gators. :)

survivorallie97 @ 2007-10-02T11:52:00

2007-10-02T15:55:57Z

Oh snap.

I am really going to England this spring. I got my acceptance on Friday. My classes:

HS2224 Spain from Dictatorship to Democracy, 1939-1989

HS2028 Twentieth-Century World History: The Middle East, Africa and Latin America

HS2019 From Nation State to Multiple Monarchy (2): British History 1588-1649

HS2021 Culture and Politics: Britain 1688-1832

I just found out that I will be staying with a family in England part of the time that I’m there. Not entirely sure how I feel about that but I guess I have a few months to mull it over. I have a ton to do before I can go home this weekend so I don’t even know why I’m writing in this but I guess it’s a decent idea to stay current.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-09-25T22:59:00

2007-09-26T03:15:26Z

I wouldn't mind if the weather stayed like this for the entirety of this fall.

I absolutely, positively love it. And the mood that it puts me in. I wasn't really that enthusiastic at the beginning of this semester but I feel as though everything is finally falling into place. I really enjoy 3/5 of my classes (as I predicted) and the other two are fine so far. Not really that great or that tragic, which I can definitely live with.

The quad that I live in reminds me of a fishbowl. There are enormous windows everywhere and sounds coming from the outside appear to be much closer than they are & I'm somewhat forced to hear them. This isn't always a bad thing, but always a distinct difference from what I hear at home...which is absolutely, positively nothing at night. Still, it's a great place to live and I can't really complain. My view is pretty entertaining too.

After a period of panic over more or less everything going wrong with my study abroad plans, I'm just waiting for that final letter that gives me an acceptance to Royal Holloway. Annnnnd assuming that happens, I will be there in mid-January. Annnnd assuming that happens, I will be going to Paris this February. Not that I"m overly excited about that or anything.

That's all.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-08-26T22:21:00

2007-08-27T04:32:43Z

I'd like to know where this summer went. No, really, please inform me because I feel as though I have lost the past few months. This large part of me is strangely dreading heading back to school because every time that I leave or come back there is this upheaval that ends with a boring fizzle and a return to something else. There is this sinking feeling [emo alert!] that I can't seem to get rid of. I'm not sure why I'm so anxious about leaving/returning (depending on what one's point of reference is).

Backtracking a bit...My internship came to an end about 2 weeks ago. My reward for being there from May to August was a box of cupcakes and a free lunch out in providence. This was not really worth all of the time that I invested there but I was on too much of a sugar high to belt out any last minute bitter comments about how much I hated it. They gave me a free tshirt and a promise that they would write me recommendation letters so I was ultimately satisfied....I guess.

I was supposed to go to Jamaica and Grand cayman but the hurricane caused some changes in that plan. I ended up going to haiti and the bahamas instead. I think that my Caribbean history class made me far too jaded about that part of the world. Even still, i took some amazing pictures and realized that I never really want to return to the Caribbean. There are too many other places in the world that have not been made into playgrounds for adults.

My career as a McManager/Tool has been going pretty well, aside from the small fact that I am often unable to utter the word "no." Over the past 3 days I have worked almost 30 hours. Today, for instance, I had the pleasure of working 9-7:30. (come on!) i don't even want to waste any real time or energy complaining about this any more than I already do because I don't want my mcjob to consume my last week in RI before leaving for a good while. I really mostly do it for the free milkshakes and the money anyway.

On totally unrelated notes, I saw the most amazing sunset today. Something that striking stands out even more when it's jutting out from behind two crappy golden arches. I had the chance to ride on a zipline in Haiti and it was really, truly incredible. I realized that it is so rare that we actually experience something without considering what it would be like to be somewhere else, to be with someone else, to be somehow otherwise engaged. During that zipline and during the hour that I spent snorkeling, i was completely content and everything felt somehow majestic. I can't explain it any better than that.

I am in dire need of a haircut and a snack and that was a lot of excessive rambling. good old livejournal.
Until later...
:)

survivorallie97 @ 2007-07-31T01:25:00

2007-07-31T05:47:55Z

I always think that I should get rid of this journal, but then I never seem to get around to it and I still enjoy writing in it from time to time.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the way that our [American] world is structured. I find myself at 19 years old obsessed with the classics and complex ideas but also with Paris Hilton and other debutatantes with no real relevance or importance. I listen to the radio and hear the word "drug" bleeped out before dealer and then subsequently hear "the girls come easy," and references to playboy bunnies..etc. It's as if this strange set of qualities and practices has been scandalized as some sort of distraction from other problems. This may sound terribly obvious, but it's not really all that apparent until one really begins to look for it. Take the Lifetime channel. Empowering? Maybe.....sometimes. Yet the channel's newest show, "Army Wives" sends horrific messages to women regarding spousal relationships, the ways that women should interact with one another, and what sort of greater roles they should play. I think this is where my obsession with the 1950s comes from--my realization that so little has actually changed during these past 50 years. So many of the drives, trends, and ultimate goals remain the same despite complicated signs of progress in the workplace and in other realms. I think so many people fail to see the power of individual personality in the greater scheme of events. We remain focused, even now, on a few people and create trends without real meaning. Then we proceed to wonder why we still fail to understand ourselves...

Truthfully, I'm confused by what is scandalized in American society. There is so much more that one could be focusing on but there are [deliberate] obstacles to finding real information in a world of tangled media. I refuse to believe in major conspiracies , but I can't help but wonder if there is some sort of greater agenda in a nation where the celeberity is more revered and obsessed over than a Grecian god probabaly ever was. Which society is more foolish? The one who believed in gods who clearly were not residing just miles away on Olympus, or the one who puts its faith, interest, and often its intellectual energry into ordinary people who have been bestowed an extraordinary amount of attention for one reason or another? I am just as guilty as anyone else in this crime. Despite my best efforts to know what occurs throughout the world, I spend more time on facebook than I do on al jazeera. My local interests sometimes outweigh my greater human interests. I suppose that recognizing the nearsightedness of this is at least part of the solution to a problem without any real solution in our society.

This summer has been strangely eventful for me. Not eventful in the way that one may presume..but quietly eventful. I've realized that first and foremost, I constantly analyze myself and this often leads to long hours of introspective thought. I don't do this in order to change myself but only to better understand where my propensities come from. I've realized that the closeness we feel with different human beings is so very organic and delicate and varies incredibly from one relationship to another. I've given up on the concepts of a "best friend" not because it has failed me but because the term isn't helpful and also because putting another person on a pedestal (no matter how high or low, i've noticed) accomplishes little. I don't expect anyone else to read this entire set of paragraphs. my intention was not to broadcast my ramblings at 145 in the morning but instead to make sense of them. Another thing I've realized...I speak my negative thoughts out loud a bit too often. But as i said, I'm not trying to change. If anything, I learned that being a person of conviction is one of the only things that a person has anymore. I apologize for the melodrama of that last sentence.

Ahh! I need to intern in a few hours.
Until later days....

[Also, I will be sailing towards Jamaica in ohhh 17 days...that is all.]

sam harris is a genius/amen

2007-06-27T14:44:11Z

"The belief that certain books were written by God (who, for reasons difficult to fathom, made Shakespeare a far better writer than himself) leaves us powerless to address the most potent source of human conflict, past and present. How is it that the absurdity of this idea does not bring us, hourly, to our knees...we are, even now, killing ourselves over ancient literature. Who would have thought something so tragically absurd could be possible?" [The End of Faith]

make me a bicycle, clown

2007-06-20T05:20:38Z

Goodness, I've let this thing go, haven't I? Soo I haven't updated much (or at all) since May because I spend a lot of time bettering my mccareer, interning with the hope of getting a real career, and sleeping just because. here I am already over a month into summer and I still don't have a tan .....but I've seen a ton of movies already and I've realized that not only did I need to learn the fact that having 2 jobs was a bad idea [dennys, 06], but also that double interning/volunteering and working was a bad idea. hey, it seemed like a good thought at the time. Where I intern I... scan files. That sentence was short because that is literally what /all I do. I stand and scan. Then sit and organize the files into electronic folders on a computer so that they can be uploaded to the internet. I'm so afraid that this is foreshadowing a later career in some sort of history-based office where no one cares about history (not really, anyway, that's how it is where I work) and I don't actually use any knowledge. I just stand...and scan. [Insert sarcastic "boo hoo" here--it's clearly not challenging, sure, it's a little disappointing and a waste of gas since I don't get paid but it could be significantly worse, eh?]

Other than that, i feel as though i've caught up with a lot of people from various realms and I feel really good about that. My brother's wedding, part 1, is in less than a month and my nephew is getting christened a week later. When did everything start happening so quickly? Not that any of this is a shock but summer tends to go by slower for me. I guess not this year.

some fun facts/tangental notes while i'm rambling >>

+i'm seeing the fray, mae, and OKGO this saturday (pretty sweet)
+i'm actually eating in a somewhat healthy manner (whoa!) because of my blood sugar
+ i finally got my report card today in the mail which makes it all official = 4 As and one B (math, how shocking) which only further reinforces the fact that yes, i really should take all/almost all classes in my major
+the movie waitress..absolutely fabulous, I'll tell you that much
+Rooting for Buckwild 1000% of the way. Yeah, 1000%, you read that right.

well, I've been up for far too long.
au revoir

survivorallie97 @ 2007-05-31T00:09:00

2007-05-31T04:11:22Z

The worst part about driving: I spend most of my time driving through/to coventry, providence, or cranston, where everyone who drives is a tool. I say this because I seriously almost got into 3 accidents today because people were not paying attention. sweet.

The best part about driving: at night I can see all the stars when I'm driving home on the back roads and almost always the moon. Music is nice too. I say this because I think I'd go crazy if I couldn't drive and it's probably also the most relaxing thing in the world...when people are not tools.

That is all.

Edit/PS: This actually happened to me.
I'm driving along on Rt 3 singing, talking to myself..the usuals. Suddenly i realize that I am behind a bus and the kids sitting in the back are all pointing at me. one of the girls whips out a notebook and after she's done scribbling she holds it up. DON'T TALK TO YOURSELF it says. Who does that?

survivorallie97 @ 2007-05-28T23:12:00

2007-05-29T03:26:56Z

I think McDonald's sort of chips away at my sanity...but only sometimes. Between that and the internship which I work at Tuesdays and Thursdays I basically work every day but it's not that bad. I feel a little crazy at my mcjob sometimes becuase..it's McDonald's. BUT I finally got my raise put into place which is sweet and I don't really mind my hours that much. Im' trying to complain less [in general] becuase I don't have that much that I should be complaining about.

I love making money and seeing people sooo I'm trying to be better at doing both. Cramming three job esque committments into my summer makes that a little bit harder but hopefully not impossible. Also, if you ever need a giggle, watch Rob & Big. I feel slightly embarrased sometimes by my trashy film and television choices...then I remember how much I love them and know that I could never part from them. On that note...

rap's grateful dead

2007-05-20T04:24:17Z

It feels to strange to be in summer mode when it's raining pretty frequently and a lot of people are still in school. Sometimes I feel old when I'm at home..I've already been out of high school two years and I can't even fathom going back. I literally have had nightmares where I am stuck back at Bay View. I guess that says something, huH?

As I figured, I already miss school (/camp) a little bit. i don't always miss the dramatics but I miss hallway conversations, having friends a beat away, and the learning process and feeling passionate about what I'm studying. A man in bank of america asked me what I was going to do with my life (I"m convinced I have a sign on my forehead that invites random conversation with strangers) and when I told him that I wanted to be an historian he said, "Well, that's not a job."

It may not be perfect and it may not be exactly what most people consider to be a career but I honestly believe that it is the best way that i could possibly spend the rest of my life. I wouldn't consider myself a person of extreme passions (it's just not my style) but I do think that if something brings a smile to your face when you talk about it you should really go with it. I also really have come to believe over the past few years that most people who chose a profession honestly believe that it is the best possible outlet for their talents, their ideas, and for their own brand of intelligence and creativity. Does history matter? Of course I believe it does. Why do I believe that? I'm not sure. I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to articulate the best answer that I can to that question. I have a few ideas already but if I've learned anything it's that I have a lot to go.

I'm not a big believer in motivational books or short quotes that relate to us why we need other people or our dogs to remind us who we are when it comes down to it. i do think, though, that everyone has a great combination of crazy and interesting in them that's worth seeking out. I think people talk about each other so much because they really want to believe that they get it. That they have tapped into something that no one else has. Whether or not that's true, I don't know. I do know that I will be meeting tons of new people this summer-- coworkers/people at the estate while volunteering, new regular co workers, people at the preservation society, and customers galore--some of whom will throw cigarettes at me (yes that happened) and some of whom will just provide me with my daily giggle.

I didn't put a ton of thought into writing this but it is something that i think about really often- that was my own version of a disclaimer reminding the kind reader that if this makes no sense, there is a good reason for that reality. it's only my stream of consciousness after an essentially sleepless two days speaking here.

well, as a wise man named jerry springer once said, take care of yourselves, and one another. and as I say all too often..I'm not crazy, I promise.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-05-13T23:11:00

2007-05-14T03:31:16Z

Being home is nice. I have time to do things such as make money, watch HBO programming like big love, actually use my car, & see new/good movies. I've come to realize and accept the fact that i don't really handle transitions very well. I get annoyed very easily and always want the change to come as soon as possible so that I can just move on quickly. this is why I pack for things week(s) in advance and am always rushing home/back to school. This past year was a good one--I'm more than half way done with college credit wise and that's pretty scary.

I worked part of the "late night" shift on Friday. As i expected, it was a fabulous experience. Since the next shift didn't come in, I worked from 4pm-2something am & heard most of the common expletives from customers who couldn't understand why we had to close. Anyway..being home (so far) hasn't been boring and I actually feel really optimistic and think this will be a really good summer. After this one I will be in Hartford for awhile & then out of the country for six months. that's a pretty scary thought--this is one of my last (long) stints in RI for some time.

I want to go to the beach.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-05-04T22:53:00

2007-05-05T02:57:29Z

Soo.
Spring weekend was ok; I went into hartford to avoid hearing TI/kevin lyttle all afternoon.
I also had to finish writing about 50 someting pages for my different exams....7 more pages to go a of right now. I think I will hit 60 pages by the end of this semester, just including final projects and other essays due in the first weeks of may. My brain feels really fried right now even though it shouldn't. I"ve been home for the past few days & now I'm really not looking forward to going back to take those 2 finals & doing my math take home part.
At least it will all be over soon & then I can go back to my summer routine of my mcjob. I also met with the internship people this week (the first one) and I think that it will be pretty sweet--that only runs until the end of june though...I'm still on the fence about the other thing in Providence. Also, I love money, especially when a ton of it comes in at once and you get paychecks from you job at home, your job at school, and from the state and the federal government.
On a final note, if you don't watch mo'nique's charm school you should, and if you do, I hope you love the commandments as much as I do. that is all.

survivorallie97 @ 2007-04-17T20:46:00

2007-04-18T00:50:58Z

My schedule for Fall:

AMST-301-01 Jr. Sem.: American Texts 1.00 SEM W: 1:15PM- 3:55PM
HIST-401-14 Jr. Sem.: The French Revolution 1.00 SEM TR: 2:40PM- 3:55PM
HIST-201-01 US Colonial Per thru Civil War 1.00 LEC MWF: 11:00AM-11:50AM
HIST-235-01 Colonial Latin America 1.00 LEC TR: 1:15PM- 2:30PM
WMGS-315-01 Women in America 1.00 LEC M: 1:15PM- 3:55PM

survivorallie97 @ 2007-04-13T17:09:00

2007-04-13T21:21:19Z

Um, Kevin Lyttle and "T.I*" are Trinity's performers for spring weekend.

Hrm.

Life is going along relatively swimmingly, I saw Spamalot in hartford last night which was cool. I also have housing for next year, and I"ll get to live in the same building that I live in now. (this is really sweet for many reasons) I really don't have much else to report, I still enjoy 3/5 of my classes, loathe 1/5, and keep remembering that I'm done by the middle of May with all of my exams and the fact that I will probably miss school within a week or two of being home anyway.

*Seriously..?

survivorallie97 @ 2007-04-03T12:39:00

2007-04-03T16:41:16Z

Words coming from my math professor in class today:

"Well, if Seinfeld is a show about nothing, then this class is...well, it's not exactly about nothing...but it's not specifically about mathematics--or sociology--or other things either."

survivorallie97 @ 2007-03-25T23:57:00

2007-03-26T04:00:37Z

In my attempts to distract myself from finishing a paper that has turned into a nearly 20 page project, I started to daydream about Dels, driving, reading outside on the deck, and maybe above all swimming. I really need to stop avoiding the next month's work...but delusions about summer coming that soon can be nice too.